Grizzlies Sign Iranian Center Haddadi, Terror Alert Raised To High

[Haddadi in traditional garb]

The Memphis Grizzlies have signed 7-2, 250 lb Iranian center Hamed Haddadi. Haddadi was the only player to average a double-double in the 2008 Olympics, posting 16.6 points and 11.2 rebounds per game. Despite Haddadi's performance, Iran went 0-5 in pool play.

Haddadi originally went undrafted in the 2004 NBA Draft when relations with Iran were less strained. The US Office of Foreign Assets gave NBA teams the go-ahead last week, and the Grizzlies jumped at the offer.

The Grizzlies, a team which has become the laughing stock of the NBA over the last couple years, posted an awful 22-60 record last season. Desperation must've set in for the Grizzlies didn't improve a single game from the 06-07 season to 07-08.

Haddadi is unproven at the NBA level, and his Olympic numbers may be a bit skewed because the Iran national team is quite weak (FIBA Rank: 23) and his teammates continually fed him the ball. However, he did post respectable numbers at the 2008 Rocky Mountain Revue Summer League games which pitted the Iranian team against NBA talent.

Only one thing is to be sure, there will be increased security at all Grizzlies games from here on out.

Rudi Johnson Cut For Not Getting Arrested

On the Bengals where being arrested has become a rite of passage, the one fairly clean Bengal Rudi Johnson has been cut. Despite showing up to camp in great physical shape, the team decided it was time to sever ties with the perennial 1400-yard, 12 TD-a-year rusher.

Due to overworking, his performance diminished to a lowly 2.9 yards per carry last season. Cincinnati will start Chris Perry at halfback with Kenny Watson sharing some carries.

A number of teams can pounce on this new free agent, most notably the Houston Texans, who plan to start way-over-the-hill Ahman Green at HB, with 2 injured backups behind him (Steve Slaton and Chris Brown). The addition of Johnson would keep both rushers healthy if they split the carries.

Also cut by the Bengals today were cornerback Deltha O'Neal and O-Lineman Willie Anderson (both Pro-Bowlers).

The Power of the Neckbeard

The Chicago Bears have given the reins to Kyle Orton, bypassing the much-maligned Rex Grossman. Orton however is better known for partying than for his tenure as Chicago's occasional quarterback.

In 2 active seasons as a Bear (he didn't play a down in 2006), he has thrown 12 TDs and 15 INTs, and sports a lowly QB Rating of 62.2. Despite his abysmal numbers, he is a proven winner as the Bears have gone 12-6 in the 18 games Orton started.

The decision was made after Orton had a better preseason than Grossman. Despite posting equal numbers in TDs and picks (2 and 1), Orton's QB Rating was almost a full 10 points better (87.1 vs. 78.4) and completed 4 percent more of his passes. Numbers this low may seem trivial, but when they are expanded into a full season, it is quite evident that the Bears made the right choice. And it's all due to the neckbeard.

Stats courtesy of profootballreference.com

Cliff Has Been Getting a Lot of Lee-Way

[above: Cliff Lee notices a leak in the ceiling]

Cleveland Indians ace Cliff Lee has really shined this year for the disappointing AL club. At the moment, he is 19-2 with a 2.43 Earned Run Average. Needless to say, he is my AL Cy Young Pick. 

Make all the arguments you want for K-Rod, but even if he in fact breaks Bobby Thigpen's save record, he still won't win the Cy. 

In addition to Lee's outstanding pitching this season, he has also received plenty of the aforementioned "Lee-way," as the Indians have scored an average of 5.42 runs when he is on the mound. 

Despite posting a 51-32 record over the previous four seasons, his ERA was an awful 4.76, another indication that the Tribe seems to always be hitting for him. Lee, by shaving nearly four runs off of his ERA between 2007 and 2008, is yet another candidate for Most Improved, like my MVP pick Carlos Quentin.

More to come on my picks.

MLB Hall of Fame Indicators: Hitters

These are guidelines I use to determine whether a Major League Baseball player should be in the Hall of Fame if they do not have the Golden Numbers (500 HRs or 3000 Hits).

A hitter must have at least 350 HRs, 1400 RBIs, 2500 Hits, and a .280 lifetime BA. Of course with any formula there are extenuating circumstances (for instance, Stolen Bases are not factored in here.), but I find it to be effective.

In MLB history, there have been 20 players that have fit these standards, 14 of which are Hall of Famers. They are Hank Aaron, Babe Ruth, Willie Mays, Frank Robinson, Jimmie Foxx, Ted Williams, Mel Ott, Eddie Murray, Lou Gehrig, Stan Musial, Dave Winfield, Carl Yastrzemski, Billy Williams and Al Kaline. A great bunch to say the least.

The six who are not in the Hall of Fame, active players or not, are the following:

1) Barry Bonds: 762 HR/1996 RBI/2935 H/.298 BA

2) Ken Griffey, Jr: 609 HR/1763 RBI/2663 H/.288 BA

3) Rafael Palmeiro: 569 HR/1835 RBI/3020 H/.288 BA

4) Gary Sheffield: 493 HR/1618 RBI/2596 H/.293 BA

5) Harold Baines: 384 HR/1628 RBI/2866 H/.289 BA

6) Luis Gonzalez: 353 HR/1432 RBI/2579 H/.283 BA

There's no doubt that Bonds, Griffey and Sheffield will eventually make it to Cooperstown. They will be first-ballot HOFers. The other three are more interesting cases.

Palmeiro - Should never make the Hall under any circumstances due to his vehement finger-wagging at Congress denying steroid use (he was later suspended that year for steroids).

Gonzalez - Barely scrapes by in all four categories. Good player, but shouldn't and won't be in.

Baines - The rap on him is that he was a DH, and therefore didn't contribute to the team defensively. However, his RBI total (1628) is the highest of any non-active player who is not in the Hall of Fame (excluding Palmeiro), plus he nearly reached 3000 Hits, falling short by under 150. He probably will never make it even though Bill Mazeroski did, a player with statistics nowhere near worthy. Even though, I'm pulling for ya, Harold.

Can We Finally Stop Talking About the Olympics?

I'm really getting sick of this. It's a political event more than anything else and there was far too much coverage. Five-plus channels were covering these events, most of which were quite boring. I ask you: Did any of you mark your calendars for the Laser Radial sailing competition? Didn't think so, yet events of that sort got primetime slots.

I'm tired of all the controversy and intense media scrutiny surrounding the events. Hopefully by the end of the week, we can get it all out of the news.

Despite my opposition to these games, I leave you with my top 10 moments of the Olympics:

10. Usain Bolt dazzled the world with his prowess on the track.

9. The Redeem Team won the gold, so now people can finally move on.

8. Michael Phelps won 8 gold medals. Impressive, but predictable.

7. A blogger exposed the fact that He Kexin, a Chinese gymnast, was in fact underage.

6. U.S. Men's Beach Volleyball player Sean Rosenthal introduced to the world some very cool sunglasses.

5. Bob Costas did excellent coverage of the games.

4. That in America, a guy by the name of Terry Tiffee can be on the Olympic baseball team.

3. That Iraq didn't win a single medal.

2. Taekwondo athlete Ángel Matos did something the inner athlete in us all wanted to do by kicking the referee after being disqualified.

1. President Bush got the most action he's had in years [see above photo].

Carlos Quentin Likes the Taste of Maple

That, and he's also my leading candidate for MVP in the American League. His league-leading 36 HRs, coupled with 100 RBIs, a .292 average and being the focal point of a division leader's offense pretty much seals the deal.

At this moment, he is on pace to have 44 HRs and 122 RBIs, similar numbers to Carlos Pena's breakout season last year, which earned him the Most Improved Player of 2007. In fact, that's yet another award Quentin should receive. Last year with the Diamondbacks, Quentin had 5 HRs, 31 RBIs and an abysmal .214 BA. He has completely turned his game and his team around as the White Sox are the 2nd most improved team after my beloved Rays.

More to come later on my award predictions.

Rangers trade Guardado to Twins for Hamburger (fries not included)

This can be taken two ways:

1) You can surmise that "Every Day Eddie" Guardado was traded back to his former club, the Twins for a prospect that shares a last name with one of America's beloved meat by-products.

or (and this is our way of thinking)...

2) You can see that Guardado has peaked a long time ago and ponder whether the Twins actually sent a hamburger to the Rangers (which is probably what Guardado is worth as a pitcher now).

The truth unfortunately is the former. Eddie Guardado (187 career saves) was traded to the Twins, the team that Eddie had been a part of from 1993-2003, for Mark Hamburger, a 21-year old minor league relief pitcher.

How the mighty have fallen. It was just six years ago that Guardado led the AL in saves. Now he is an over-seasoned veteran whose career is dying, traded for a man who isn't even a household name in his own household.

Welcome to Nosebleed Seats!

Welcome to Nosebleed Seats! Currently I am the only member, and truth be told, I wouldn't be entirely surprised if by my 100th post, I still remain the lone member. Here at Nosebleed Seats, anything is fair game: critique (both constructive and harsh), humor (at the expense of others primarily), and myriad other things. If you have a photo of a player engaged in embarrassing activity, feel free to send it along to nstips@yahoo.com.

With this, I sign off.